The Chemistry of Anger: Understanding and Controlling Emotions
Understanding the chemistry of anger can help us manage it effectively. Our bodies contain sixteen chemicals that shape our emotions. These emotions, in turn, set our moods, and our moods shape our personalities. Each emotion lasts approximately twelve minutes, including anger, which is a reaction born from a chemical imbalance in the body.
For instance, if our body fails to produce enough insulin, or if we consume excessive salt, lack proper sleep, or leave home on an empty stomach, a chemical reaction occurs. This reaction increases our blood pressure, which triggers the feeling of anger. Fortunately, the body produces chemicals to calm us down within twelve minutes, and within fifteen minutes, our anger usually subsides. The key to controlling anger lies in managing these crucial twelve minutes. By doing so, we can prevent anger from escalating and causing unnecessary damage.
Is This Principle Limited to Anger?
No, it applies to all six basic emotions: anger, fear, hatred, surprise, joy, and sadness. Each of these emotions also lasts for twelve minutes. We laugh, feel afraid, experience sadness, and hate for only twelve minutes. However, many people seem to live in a state of prolonged anger, sadness, or fear. The problem arises when, instead of allowing these emotions to dissipate naturally, we fuel them by dwelling on them—like adding oil and wood to a fire. A feeling that should last twelve minutes can extend for hours, days, or even longer. This prolonged emotional state can shape our long-term mood, and over time, our mood becomes part of our personality.
Have you ever noticed some people who seem to always carry anger, sadness, or hatred on their faces? This is often because they did not manage their emotions within those twelve minutes, and instead, allowed these feelings to become embedded in their personalities.
How Can You Manage These Twelve Minutes?
The first step is awareness. Knowing that anger, like all emotions, lasts only twelve minutes, you can adopt strategies to manage it. For example, when you feel anger rising, try these simple steps:
Stay Silent: Avoid speaking when anger overwhelms you. Silence is powerful.
Change Your Position: If you’re standing, sit down. If you’re sitting, lie down. Changing your physical posture can help shift your emotional state.
Perform Wudu (Ablution): For those who follow Islamic practices, performing wudu can help cool the body and mind.
Engage in Prayer or Meditation: Spending 20 minutes in prayer or meditation can calm your mind and help you regain control.
Take Deep Breaths: Slow, deep breathing can reduce the intensity of anger.
Drink Cold Water: Anger is like fire, and drinking water helps extinguish it.
Recite Calming Phrases: For example, saying “La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah” (There is no power nor strength except through Allah) can help remind you of patience and calm.
What if You Can’t Use These Methods?
Even if you cannot access these tools, the simplest yet most effective strategy is to remain silent. No matter how intense your emotions are, silence can help you avoid reacting in ways you’ll regret later.
Simple Tips for Managing Anger:
Remove Yourself from the Situation: Take a moment to step away from the source of anger.
Delay Your Response: Count to five or take a deep breath before responding to any situation that provokes anger.
Stay Hydrated: Drink a glass of cold water to help calm your nerves.
By learning to control the chemistry of anger within those crucial twelve minutes, you can prevent it from becoming a long-term mood or personality trait.
Share Your Experience
Have you ever experienced a moment of anger where you lost control and regretted it later? Did you lose a close relationship or feel embarrassed because of your anger? Share your story in the comments below so others can learn from your experience and avoid making the same mistakes. Together, we can help each other improve our lives.